Thank you Jebus!

Thanksgiving is a fabulous time for drunks. At no other time of year can we enjoy gin and tonics with a turkey dinner. A propos of nothing, can I just say how awesome this book is?

If you're looking for a little light reading for the plane, please allow me to recommend it. I couldn't put it down; I laughed out loud; I've started calling my boss Giant Chuy. I used to watch the show mainly because I was like, "This is so bad, what the hell is this? Who are these 'panelists'!?" (Ms. Handler is quoted as saying, ""The worse the guests are, the more pathetic they are, the funnier the show is.”) And then I was all, "Wait a minute, this bitch is kind of funny. And, um, she has a Mexican midget sidekick!" And I've been a fan ever since. True story.

Chelsea's the best. She goes to a birthday party for an insane woman no one likes and re-gifts a board-game called "Rehab"; she takes her pants off in a restaurant in London whereat the primary conceit is that you eat in the dark; she spends a night in jail after a routine DUI goes horribly wrong; she takes three kickboxing classes and thinks she's badass, only to get beat up by a group of tweens. A passage about sliding a McNugget through a car window reduced me to tears.

If I ever met her in person I like to think we'd be friends, or at least drinking buddies, but in actuality it would probably be kind of awkward. So I'm content to remain a fan and say hers is definitely the funniest collection of humorous female-penned personal essays I've read this year. Admittedly, the only other collection of humorous female-penned personal essays I've read this year was "I Was Told There'd Be Cake," but Sloane Crosley's tales of getting locked out of her apartment seem kind of tame next to Chels's pantsless adventures. Crosley's about as edgy as a Jane Austen heroine but she kind of knows it, so she goes for an innocent ingenue tone and pulls it off. She turns a good phrase and if she ever starts leading an interesting life, things could really turn up roses for her. But until you've peed your pants in a fake cop uniform and gotten fleeced by a drunken midget, you really can't compare to Chelsea Handler.